fear...change.....pathway for life

lately i have had this fear of a few things. like one answering our home phone, i know wtf i don't get it myself. we just recently got new phones and i just cant bare the ringing tone. our other phone was worst. i just don't get the fear. not at all
there are some things at the moment i do not understand and there are alot of what the hell moments when things change and you cant give a reason.
maybe i should just come to the conclusion i hate change and that basically its about me entering the world with new responsibilities and goal to have great career and future. that i ignore everything i put things a side for later because i cant deal with the million of other things that are on my plate that its time for me to make the more deeper choices in life and suffer the greater consequences..
wow i have become my own shrink, i detected the problem, now to actually fix it.

oh life why are you so unpredictable?

something more

so i havent posted a blog in ages, due to the fact i too busy with hsc ness. oh and the fact that i work as well. i serious cant wait until this year is over need-less to say i will miss it. 6 months have already flown pass i finally got to see my bestfriend and my car is nearly ready. i have come to the realisation that my formal is in september and i will have to go formal shopping. arghh alot is happening but i guess thats just life. but when i do finish school in a terms time i will be able to do what i want until uni or tafe comes along, which means more shifts at work and more money to pay off whats left of my car or saved for future life hahahaha. but still the fact that 13 years of education will be over my november will be the scariest ever. "welcome to the real world Sam".
my parents are going away sometime next year and leaving my brother and i to look after ourselves. mother thinks i wont survive. which is wrong since i will be 18 i will have a car my ps and a job that gives me money, if i cant be bothered cooking food i would go out for lunch dinner der lol.
and well my brother can do his own thing but im not giving him money haha.
this holidays i have spent most of my time watching chris lowell dvds and working and sleeping GO ME!! oh and i cleaned my room (about time) and repostered my poster wall.
right now i just feel like an adventure but everyone is too busy with other things and it just annoying. but totallly that sums up most of my thoughts that have been pendling my brain, not that exciting i must admit. im just looking for that something more in life thats meant to make me be like wow life is awesome.

hmmmm


chris lowell. haha an adventure with him would be swell :p