so im establishing nothing i do, will ever turn out with a good outcome.
i feel like im stuck in a maze going around around, same old problems, thoughts, feelings that i had before. you would of thought i would of learn by now. nope obviously getting burnt over and over again thinking maybe things might change would help change the situation, obviously i  am too naive and an idiot of thinking that.
SAM for hecks sake, just face the facts.
1. it will never happen in a million years.
2. stop hoping it will
3.learn to move on!

i wish i would take my own advice but obviously its not going to happen.

 "YOU WONT BE NEEDING THIS ANYMORE!"

2010

so its now 2010. scary i know, in four months i shall be 18 heck yes. i think im glad to see the new year, a fresh start where i want to make the right decisions and the right choice in how i want my life to turn out. i feel that just maybe this year i might have the luck i need to make me alittle happier then what i am now, to be honest i feel im stuck, its like there is a pitch fork in my road and im awaiting for something to remove it because its stopping me getting to where i want to be, i just hope its sometime soon i just want my life to pan out right.
some days i really think i have too high expectations for myself and that i push myself and i am to hard on myself that the things that i have done are not good enough. but i guess its just the way i am. i just hope i can a achieve well this year.
but in the mean time im working  and will be starting newstep in march, which is a big change.
i hoping by the end of this year i will get into bachelor of music, have my p's, find myself a decent guy, pay off my debts and saved for a trip over seas paris and venice would do lovely.. =]

only time can tell..