i need to escape.

I'm 18,
I have a car but not my P's.
I'm at uni doing newstep and hating and realising i dont know what i want in life.
I'm the eldest child but yet still get treated like im too young to do what i want.
I want to be happy but the ground around me crumbles,
I want to see my bestfriends but 2 moved away and one works 24/7.
I want to be organised yet i'm very untidy.
I want to be thin but let alone i fail at dieting.
I want an adventure but i have no time.
I want to live life to the fullest, but don't know what the fullest could possible be.

i want all these things to come true and that the negatives that follow what i want in each sentence not to be there.